Did you know that anxiety is an adaptive trait which is hard wired iinto our nervous system? It allows us to protect our safety and survival. We do this by predicting our future and planning to enhance pleasant events and avoid unpleasant events. This also increases our chances of not be startled or caught off guard by some future event. For example, when planning a camping trip, we search out the campground that most pleases us. At the same time, if we know it is an area where there are bears, we also work out where to keep food and trash in a place that will not attract those bears. This is a positive outcome based on an adaptive evaluation of things that might actually occur. The flip side, where this predictive planning becomes problematic, is when we habitually hypothesize or overthink what the future might look like based on our fears, desires, or past experiences rather than reality. For instance, when packing for this same camping trip, you start worrying about whether you are taking the right type of clothing and then imagine scenarios where this "error" will cause you to be too hot or too cold. You remember the times when you did experience these umpleasant states and want to avoid experiencing them again and therefore ruining the whole trip! Because of the stress and overwhelm of this Anxious Thinking, you may end up overpacking clothing and limiting space for other necssities. In this spiral of anxiety, you completely forget to simply check the Weather forecasts.
What about those times where we really can't know how something will turn out or what the circumstances may be? Well, then we may face almost untolerable feelings of uncertainty or of having no control. That's when the "what ifs" and "what abouts" and "how or whens" reallly kick in and become a force of their own. Here is where the Mindfulness of Wise Acceptance can help us move towards a more peaceful state where anxiety is acknowledged without panic and we become more tolerant of not knowing. This is a practice and not something that you can do on the spot. Without practice, it is similar to knowing what a hammer is but not remembering how to use it when you need to hang a picture. One easy technique to try is to make it a habit to take a few deep breaths when facing the anxiety of unpleasantness or uncertainty before you respond. The nervous system is immediately calmed and you are less likely to fall into a reactive state in which you might think, say, or do things that are not in your best interest. There are many ways to deal with fearful or Anxious Thoughts and here is a simple but effective one. When faced with a situation that feels intolerable, ask yourself "Is there something I can do about it?". If the answer is yes, then do it. If the answer is no, remind yourself that there is nothing you can do about it. This is the acceptance of reality. Each time those fears arise again, remind yourself of your answer and then Breathe.